You wrote those papers in high school, right? I'm sure you did, we all did.
Now, it seems to me that some people did not get the memo- but high school is over! Generally speaking, the walk, the graduation, all that jazz is an indication that you have crossed over into a new part of your life called adulthood. That means, you should be an adult. That means that some of the behaviors that were common and even encouraged in high school must now stop. That includes the compare and contrast.
There are the three degrees of glory given to us by an Eternal God. The potential for the highest degree is Eternal. This refers to both the potential for joy and happiness, and the number of souls who reside there. It is not "God's Top 20". There is a standard for what it takes to live there with Him, but the standard does not include a number of admitted souls.
That means that you don't need to have one more kid than your neighbor. You don't need to go to one more church meeting than your neighbor. You don't need to do one more act of kindness than your neighbor.
This also means that you can't excuse poor behavior because of your neighbor. "Well, Sister so-and-so only does 75% of her visiting teaching, so, as long as I get in 80%, I'm good."
This also means that you don't need to do everything that your neighbor is doing. It's okay if the meal you end up bringing in to a family is pizza and a salad, even if Sister so-and-so made a 5-star restaurant style meal, starting with butchering her own chicken.
All too often, we excuse our bad behavior because of someone else's behavior. "Well, the whole Relief Society was gossiping, I couldn't stay out of it." On the other end, we feel pride in our behavior because of another sister's behavior. Or, we sell ourselves short and don't do as well at something as we could have, because we are okay with it being just better than the other person.
Forget the comparing. Don't pay attention to what they are doing. Do your best at your task, and let others do what they can at theirs.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Bananas (Simplify)
I had a bunch of bananas in my fruit bowl that were getting a little brown. Normally, I throw them into banana bread when they do that. But, with the craziness of school starting and time just slipping away, and the hot days that make it hard to turn on the oven, they kept getting more and more brown. Everyday, I thought, "tomorrow, tomorrow I'll make banana bread". My family loves banana bread, and I know they'd be thrilled to see it.
Finally, yesterday, I grabbed them, popped them out of the peel and into freezer bags. I can still make banana bread, but I don't have to do it right this minute.
There is a time and season for everything, including banana bread. On a cool day this fall, I'll pull them out and make banana bread for afternoon snack.
Where are the bananas in your life? Is there a visual reminder of something you aren't getting done that is making you feel guilty? Do yourself a favor and do something about it. Get it out of your visual, either by just doing it or filing it away for another day.
Finally, yesterday, I grabbed them, popped them out of the peel and into freezer bags. I can still make banana bread, but I don't have to do it right this minute.
There is a time and season for everything, including banana bread. On a cool day this fall, I'll pull them out and make banana bread for afternoon snack.
Where are the bananas in your life? Is there a visual reminder of something you aren't getting done that is making you feel guilty? Do yourself a favor and do something about it. Get it out of your visual, either by just doing it or filing it away for another day.
Preparing a talk
This was the thought that popped into my head and made me want to share.
Let's face it, giving talks (or lessons) are part of being LDS. From the time that you can peer over the pulipt in primary, we ask you to speak.
Preparing a talk is a daunting task. You are given two or three words as a subject, a time frame, and then, free range. How do you even begin?
1. Research. Gotta love the internet. Start with www.lds.org, the scriptures, Conference talks, etc., are all there. Research your topic.
2. Pick a few points you'd like to make. Not 10, not 20, just a few. Ask yourself, "what do I want someone to hear from this talk?". If your topic is reverence, maybe your main points are that reverence is an emotion, not an action; reverence is something we should always have, not just in the chapel; we should teach our children reverence for sacred things.
3. Find a format. This is my little secret ingredient for giving talks. Have a form for it. Watch, next conference, you'll see many of these techiniques used. Some sequences you can use:
- EASY. (Thanks to my sister for this one.) E-experience, A- apply it, S-scripture, Y- your testimony. Very simple, and very good for youth and primary talks. If you are an adult speaker, I recommend repeating the pattern a few times in your talk.
- a parable (remember Bednar's pickle talk?). Start with a personal story, use symbols in it, and explain those symbols. This is one of the harder ones to write, but one of the more memorable ones to give.
- an acronym. There are two ways to do this one. Take the word you are speaking about, and use one word that applies to each letter. For example, you have a talk on "creating a heavenly home", take 'home'- Heart (love and kindness), Open (having a gospel-sharing home), Marriage (mother and father to lead the home, must have their relationship in place first and foremost), Evening (FHE, and through in scripture study and prayers). The second way to do an acronym is to take a completely unrelated, but familiar, group of letters and do the same thing. I heard a talk 10 years ago about teaching where he did C3PO: creativity, prayer, prepare, present, openness (allowing class participation). See? I still remember it.
-build up and down. Take your main point, the one thing you want to teach in your talk. Build up to it, and than build back down from it. Hm, anyone recognize this pattern?
-one word repeat. You'll see this one in GA talks a lot, too. Take one word, and repeat it as the beginning of several phrases. Ie- Serve your family, your community, your Lord.
-common phrase. I had to give a talk on our speech once. I used "is it kind? is it true? is it necessary?"- kindness, honesty, not gossiping.
- who? what? where? when? and why? In my example of reverence, this is how I'd approach the talk. Who needs to be reverent? What is reverence? Where/when should we be reverent? Why should we have reverence?
4. Prepare each section. See the beauty of having a form? You aren't preparing a 15 min talk anymore. You are preparing several smaller ones, and then flowing them together. Isn't that much easier? Use the scriptures, quotes, and personal experiences from part 1.
5. Write an intro and conclusion. A key rule of public speaking and writing is that your conclusion always ties back to your intro. For example, in my "is it kind? is it true? is it necessary?" talk, I introduced the phrase as one that my mother would remind us of when I fought with my siblings. In the conclusion, I talked about how we are all brothers and sisters.
6. Always, always, always, end with your testimony.
And, some don'ts:
1. Don't do "ode to....." (member of the ward, family member, whomever). Our talks should be focused on the Savior.
2. Don't share a story that is unrelated to the topic. Especially don't spend 20 mins telling everyone about your vacation, and then end with "oh, and we should be nice to each other".
3. Don't ridicule people, other religions, the person who asked you to give the talk, no one.
4. Don't groan about giving the talk at the beginning of the talk. That just shuts people's ears off. "She doesn't want to speak? Well, I don't want to listen."
5. Don't forget that 99% of the people sitting out there have been in your shoes.
6. Don't forget that the Lord makes up for where we are weak.
7. Don't forget to share your testimony throughout the whole talk! That is where you can truly bring the Spirit in.
Let's face it, giving talks (or lessons) are part of being LDS. From the time that you can peer over the pulipt in primary, we ask you to speak.
Preparing a talk is a daunting task. You are given two or three words as a subject, a time frame, and then, free range. How do you even begin?
1. Research. Gotta love the internet. Start with www.lds.org, the scriptures, Conference talks, etc., are all there. Research your topic.
2. Pick a few points you'd like to make. Not 10, not 20, just a few. Ask yourself, "what do I want someone to hear from this talk?". If your topic is reverence, maybe your main points are that reverence is an emotion, not an action; reverence is something we should always have, not just in the chapel; we should teach our children reverence for sacred things.
3. Find a format. This is my little secret ingredient for giving talks. Have a form for it. Watch, next conference, you'll see many of these techiniques used. Some sequences you can use:
- EASY. (Thanks to my sister for this one.) E-experience, A- apply it, S-scripture, Y- your testimony. Very simple, and very good for youth and primary talks. If you are an adult speaker, I recommend repeating the pattern a few times in your talk.
- a parable (remember Bednar's pickle talk?). Start with a personal story, use symbols in it, and explain those symbols. This is one of the harder ones to write, but one of the more memorable ones to give.
- an acronym. There are two ways to do this one. Take the word you are speaking about, and use one word that applies to each letter. For example, you have a talk on "creating a heavenly home", take 'home'- Heart (love and kindness), Open (having a gospel-sharing home), Marriage (mother and father to lead the home, must have their relationship in place first and foremost), Evening (FHE, and through in scripture study and prayers). The second way to do an acronym is to take a completely unrelated, but familiar, group of letters and do the same thing. I heard a talk 10 years ago about teaching where he did C3PO: creativity, prayer, prepare, present, openness (allowing class participation). See? I still remember it.
-build up and down. Take your main point, the one thing you want to teach in your talk. Build up to it, and than build back down from it. Hm, anyone recognize this pattern?
-one word repeat. You'll see this one in GA talks a lot, too. Take one word, and repeat it as the beginning of several phrases. Ie- Serve your family, your community, your Lord.
-common phrase. I had to give a talk on our speech once. I used "is it kind? is it true? is it necessary?"- kindness, honesty, not gossiping.
- who? what? where? when? and why? In my example of reverence, this is how I'd approach the talk. Who needs to be reverent? What is reverence? Where/when should we be reverent? Why should we have reverence?
4. Prepare each section. See the beauty of having a form? You aren't preparing a 15 min talk anymore. You are preparing several smaller ones, and then flowing them together. Isn't that much easier? Use the scriptures, quotes, and personal experiences from part 1.
5. Write an intro and conclusion. A key rule of public speaking and writing is that your conclusion always ties back to your intro. For example, in my "is it kind? is it true? is it necessary?" talk, I introduced the phrase as one that my mother would remind us of when I fought with my siblings. In the conclusion, I talked about how we are all brothers and sisters.
6. Always, always, always, end with your testimony.
And, some don'ts:
1. Don't do "ode to....." (member of the ward, family member, whomever). Our talks should be focused on the Savior.
2. Don't share a story that is unrelated to the topic. Especially don't spend 20 mins telling everyone about your vacation, and then end with "oh, and we should be nice to each other".
3. Don't ridicule people, other religions, the person who asked you to give the talk, no one.
4. Don't groan about giving the talk at the beginning of the talk. That just shuts people's ears off. "She doesn't want to speak? Well, I don't want to listen."
5. Don't forget that 99% of the people sitting out there have been in your shoes.
6. Don't forget that the Lord makes up for where we are weak.
7. Don't forget to share your testimony throughout the whole talk! That is where you can truly bring the Spirit in.
Welcome!
Sometimes, I have a thought come to me, and it's a thought I'd like to share. But, where? A blog. It's perfect. It's a place where you can come, and listen to me, or you can not come, and you don't have to be bothered with me.
I am a mom, an LDS mom. But, I'm not a molly. When I think of the creation, I don't imagine that Heavenly Father created us in an assembly line. He created us, think of that- You are a hand-made product of our Heavenly Father. He wanted you to be just how you are, but then asked you to make improvements on you. What a great plan! I get to be just how God wants me to be, and just how I want me to be.
"Molly Mormon" is a term used to refer to the stereotypical LDS women. But, if you ask any given LDS women what defines a Molly Mormon, you'll get a different answer. Some day it's a women who has a perfectly clean home, with perfectly clean children, who scrapbooks every moment of their life, and keeps a calling running just perfectly. Well, that's not me. Some say it's a good-two-shoes, LDS-style. Okay, that may be more of who I am. Really, it's that soccer-mom stereotype, with an LDS-twist on it.
I'm not Molly, though, and neither are you, even if you do have the perfectly clean home, with perfectly clean children, and perfect scrapbooks, even if you bake all of your own bread, and have a rotating food storage, even if your RS lessons always have a tablecloth. I know you aren't that stereotypical LDS women, because God didn't create that person- man did. We are the ones who have given ourselves this idea that we have to be a certain person to be the person God wants us to be. We forget that God made us to be us, not someone else.
Hence, the title of this blog- The Lord's way, my way. I am here, on this earth, trying to live the life that He wants me to live. I am not here to live the life that you are supposed to live. But, along the way, I have some thoughts to share on being an LDS women. We live in a unique day and age, yet we are connected through the ages to other women.
So, come into my world, hear what I have to say, speak up yourself (I'll gladly accept guess-postings, and comments are always welcome). Some postings will be my reflections on gospel principles; some will be tips and tricks for living; some will be whatever happens to hit my radar that day.
I am a mom, an LDS mom. But, I'm not a molly. When I think of the creation, I don't imagine that Heavenly Father created us in an assembly line. He created us, think of that- You are a hand-made product of our Heavenly Father. He wanted you to be just how you are, but then asked you to make improvements on you. What a great plan! I get to be just how God wants me to be, and just how I want me to be.
"Molly Mormon" is a term used to refer to the stereotypical LDS women. But, if you ask any given LDS women what defines a Molly Mormon, you'll get a different answer. Some day it's a women who has a perfectly clean home, with perfectly clean children, who scrapbooks every moment of their life, and keeps a calling running just perfectly. Well, that's not me. Some say it's a good-two-shoes, LDS-style. Okay, that may be more of who I am. Really, it's that soccer-mom stereotype, with an LDS-twist on it.
I'm not Molly, though, and neither are you, even if you do have the perfectly clean home, with perfectly clean children, and perfect scrapbooks, even if you bake all of your own bread, and have a rotating food storage, even if your RS lessons always have a tablecloth. I know you aren't that stereotypical LDS women, because God didn't create that person- man did. We are the ones who have given ourselves this idea that we have to be a certain person to be the person God wants us to be. We forget that God made us to be us, not someone else.
Hence, the title of this blog- The Lord's way, my way. I am here, on this earth, trying to live the life that He wants me to live. I am not here to live the life that you are supposed to live. But, along the way, I have some thoughts to share on being an LDS women. We live in a unique day and age, yet we are connected through the ages to other women.
So, come into my world, hear what I have to say, speak up yourself (I'll gladly accept guess-postings, and comments are always welcome). Some postings will be my reflections on gospel principles; some will be tips and tricks for living; some will be whatever happens to hit my radar that day.
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