Computer give away

Don't worry, I'm not going to flood this blog with giveaways. I just really want this one.

Let's talk about that big guy up north

That's right, let's jump into that big bad Santa debate.

First of all, let's establish the fact that Santa- St. Nicholas- is real. We aren't talking about a legend like Babe the Blue Ox. We are talking about a very real person, who was a good person. Go ahead and google it.

Now, obviously, this very real person didn't live in our snowy north, and didn't have a bunch of little people helping him build toys, and does not have reindeer that can pull a sleigh. Those are all fictitious.

If you ask me when I stopped believing in Santa, I will tell you never. I still believe in him. So, yeah, ask me the next question- When did I stop believing in all the elves and reindeer stuff? I never did.

My parents didn't teach us to. Sure, we heard about it at school, and on the movies, and they didn't prevent it. However, they were as real to me as Rainbow Bright and My Little Ponies. IME, kids can tell the difference between real and fake. They have a light of Christ in them. If, however, an adult they trust (which, for the young ones, are just about everyone) tells them something is real, not fake, they will go with that.

So, my method is to not tell them that stuff is real. I still tell them stories about St. Nicholas, but real ones. I tell them about a man who wanted to be like Jesus, and helped people. Yes, they know about the elves, and the reindeer, and all of that. But, at that same age where they are sorting out that Spiderman isn't real, they also sort out that that stuff isn't real.

I see parents get all up in arms. One side is robbing their children of imagination, the other is lieing to their kids (who then won't believe in Jesus, either). How about a middle ground? How about you don't lie to your kids, and still let them have an imagination? Why is it that we can handle that with every other character, person, and story, but get all in a muddle with Santa?

And, as another note- I find making your kids sit on a strange old guy's lap at the mall a little creepy. Seriously, when else do you decide to force your child into a position of physical touch with a strangers? Yeah, not happening. I about had a fit when the primary president tried to tell my son he couldn't get his treat bag unless he sat on Santa's lap. No way do you bribe my child into physical contact with a strange adult by offering candy! "Here, kid, come sit on my lap and I'll give you candy." *shudder* What is wrong with people????

Giving thanks

As the Halloween candy supply starts to diminish (with some help from mom and dad, and a stash ending up in the freezer), it is time to look towards Thanksgiving. November, the month that everything gets a little more dreary, and skies are a little more gloomy, the month where kids have fallen into a boring routine at school, and the newness of the year has worn off, the month that we are supposed give thanks. I think it is great that we are encouraged to focus on our blessings at a time that has a lot of potential for sadness and depression.

In our family, we spend the month visually counting our blessings. One year, we had a tree taped to the wall. We had leaves that we added that each said something we were thankful for. Another year. it was a turkey with feathers. This year, we are doing a paper chain.

I love hearing what my kids are thankful for, from underwear to ice cream to Jesus. I also love reflecting with my husband what we are grateful for. It really brings our family closer together.

We also ask all those who visit our home to add to our tree/turkey/etc.

I'm always sad at the end of the month, to take it down, even though I'm quite excited to see the Christmas stuff go up. I always write down what the kids said that year. It is fun to look back on them.

Halloween Baking Fun

I admit, I love food network. I do not love to cook, but I do like thinking that I would like to cook. I watch it, find recipes that I'm sure I'm going to try, but never do. Face it, life right now doesn't lend itself to fancy cooking. Sure, Rachel Ray can make dinner in 30 mins. I think they should do an episode where she does it with kids hanging from her. Now, that would be entertainment.

Someday, I will get a chance to try out some of those recipes. For now, though, I need something a little more real to my life. I found a blog that provides just that.

www.ourbestbites.com

Here is a place for recipes by moms for moms. They are good, and fancy. I've tried several from there, and they are doable for a less-than-average cook like me.

Today, they had a fun recipe- Candy Corn Cupcakes. I just made them, and it was fun.

I highly recommend checking them out.

Need a laugh?

www.mylifeisaverage.com

www.cakewrecks.blogspot.com

I added a button in my sidebar, too, that links to a fun blog my cousin made.

Enjoy!

Read the classics

Remember those books you had to read in junior high and high school? Remember "To Kill a Mockingbird" or "Great Expectations"? Remember how your teacher raved about how wonderful they were, while you sat and tried to figure out how to write the essay without reading it?

Has it ever occurred to you to look at them again? As an adult, you may find in them the treasures that your teachers saw. You may see them in a different light, and understand them differently.

I love literature, and always have. I grew up with Shakespeare, Tolstoy and O Henry as bedtime stories. Wordsworth and Tennyson often became the foundation for Family Home Evening lessons. It is in my blood to love devouring a good book.

Even with that background, there is something about someone telling me I have to read a book that takes some of the enjoyment out of it. Thinking about the essay, or how many pages have to be read that night, takes my mind off of truly immersing myself in the pages.

I think there is value in picking up those books you dreaded reading in high school, and approaching them again. What do you remember reading?

Thank you cards

Once, I got an anonymous thank you card in the mail for teaching my Sunday School class. I kept it, for a very long time. It lifted my spirits, and, besides, who doesn't love a piece of mail that isn't someone asking for your money.

We generally send thank you cards for gifts. But, when was the last time you sent a thank you card to someone that wasn't a socially demanded one. What about the primary teacher that has been great with your child? What about the Primary Pres? We serve, all the time, and everywhere. I think, in general, the LDS people serve because they want to. But, an added acknowledgement doesn't hurt, and can go far to lift someone's spirit.

Friday Funny

You want to laugh right now, don't you? After a long week, it is good to laugh.


see more Epic Fails

For more, go to failblog.org. BUT, be sure to click on the g-rated button at the top. Not all of their pictures are nice and clean, but, thankfully, they give us a way to screen them, so we get the ones that are actually funny.

"Good enough" Parenting

Anyone ever feel pressure to be the perfect parent? I'm grateful for modern medicine and understanding of things. But, as a mother, it can get overwhelming when the media is full of facts about organic foods, harmful things in the environment, tv exposure, reading to your kids. There is study, after study, after study, trying to figure out what the exact recipe for perfect parenting is. Did you breastfeed? Did you do it long enough? Did you co-sleep, because that's bad, or did you put them in a crib, because that is bad, too? Did you expose them to Mozart while in womb (a theory now proven to be false)? Are your kids in sports young enough to excel at them? Did they start too early and now put too much pressure on themselves? Are they reading early enough? Are you spending too much time on academics, and they aren't getting to play enough? Do you have the right toys, books, equipment to properly develop their brain? Are you cooking healthy, balanced meals, that don't have chemicals or preservatives in them?

It's enough to make a mom go insane. It really is. Then, you add to the fact that little Johnny at church knows all of his scriptures and sits nicely, and Suzy's dress is always neatly pressed, and Sister Jones is never late. We get about ready to collapse under the pressure.

Once, when I had two small children, we were driving 45 mins to church, and my husband was in the Branch Presidency. I had to drag myself there, by myself, sit by myself with a special needs toddler and nursing baby. I had no mother's lounge to go to. I nursed in the hall. It was crazy, and I generally cried the whole drive back. One Sunday, our Stake Pres and his wife came to church. She is one of those women who looks all put together, raised beautiful children, and you just think has it all going for her. I was leaving church after another rough Sunday, toddler in one arm, baby in the other, and a diaper bag and books, balanced in between. My son refused to wear Sunday shoes, and I had put him in ratty sandals, which he also refused to wear. He was barefoot, and the sandals were at the top of my ill-balanced load. I dropped one, right in front of this amazing women. She bent over and picked it up and handed it to me. I apologized, both for dropping it and for the fact that my kid was wearing it to church. She smiled and said, "I once brought all of my kids to church barefoot. You brought the kids, and that is what matters." I felt a total weight come off my shoulders. Her kids managed to turn out okay, so maybe ratty sandals or barefoot isn't the end of the world.

Since then, I have adopted my "good enough" parenting. Yes, I try hard, to make sure my kids are dressed nicely, to keep a clean home, and to do all of those extra things. They are important, no doubt about that. But, when it comes to surviving day-to-day life, I just can't do it all.

At the end of the day, I ask myself:

Did I read my scriptures and have a heartfelt prayer with my Heavenly Father?
Did I read scriptures to my children and bear my testimony (not formally, but in some way) to them at least once?
Did I tell all members of my family that I love them?
Did I do something, anything, with my kids, whether it was a project, building blocks, something that allowed me to just spend some focused time with them? (Even just 5 mins).
Did I read to them?
Did we eat dinner together (even if it came from a box, or was a sandwich)?

Those are my daily goals. If I get those done, anything else is icing on the cake. At the end of the day, if my children know they are loved by me and by the Lord, I have had a successful day.

CS Lewis- The Chronicles of Narnia

CS Lewis is quoted more often by general authorities of the church than any other nonmember. Why? Because he was a brilliant wordsmith. He could create images out of words like no body else.

He was a fairly prolific writer, and there are many books by him out there. They vary, quite a bit, in their level, ease of reading, and content. But, one thing is always there, and that is religious symbols and moral lessons.

If you haven't read them, or if you have, The Chronicles of Narnia are, in my opinion, the best children's literature. They are brilliant, with symbols and parables woven into a captivating story line. One of the central characters is Aslan, a symbol of Christ throughout all of the books.

Yes, they made movies out of some of them. I went and saw the movie when it first came out. I sat in front of some obnoxious women who couldn't keep their commentary to themselves. Annoying, for sure. In this portion of the story, Aslan is killed by the wicked. Afterwards, he is brought back to life. Hm, sound familiar? Like, you know, the whole resurrection. Well, this lady very loudly spits out "Yeah, right, like that could happen". Um, yes. It could, it did, and it will. I think she missed the whole point of the movie.

Don't do that. Don't miss the point of these books. They are fun stories, sure, but they teach great lessons.

My favorite literary scene is found in "The Silver Chair", one of the later books in the series. The Prince of Narnia (Aslan's country) has been captured by the evil witch of the underground. She has convinced him that Narnia and Aslan don't exist. Isn't that a great tactic of Satan's, to convince us that Christ and Heaven don't exist? The children who are sent by Aslan to rescue him and have helped him realize the truth. The evil witch comes back, and now tries to convince the children and the prince that their world is false, a lie. She tells them it is a figment of their imagination, that they have only imagined things like the sun, grass, and Aslan himself.

Just as the group is almost intranced by her, one of them snaps out of it and gives an amazing speech on what she had just said. He says that, even if it was imagined, how much better they are for having imagined it, and how much better they can live with that hope and dream, rather than being stuck in this murky, dark, and miserable world. He says, "I am on Aslan's side, even if their is no Aslan. I am a Narian, even if there is no Narnia." He then goes on to say there is one, and the spell is broken.

Can you see the beauty of that scene? How powerful are we when we testify? How much more is Satan's grasp loosened when we declare our convictions? Look at Satan's tactics, to lull us away, believing that this world is all there is. And, even if the whole idea of a heaven and a God is false, how much happier are we with that belief? Obviously, that idea isn't false, there is a Heaven, and a God, and a Savior. As we declare our committment to Him, Satan is weakened.

If you are looking for a story to read to your kids, or a quick read for yourself, pick up one of the series. I can read one in one afternoon. They are sweet, simple, and powerful.

Cleaning windows

I have lots of windows, and lots of grubby fingers at my house. I needed a quicker way to take care of those. I found these one day at Target, and decided they were worth a try. I think they were $3.

And, they work amazingly well. I was surprised. It does take more scrubbing to get stuff off, but, no cleaners, just water, and they are so handy to have right there.

I've found that glass cleaners leave a film on windows. That is how they are "streak free", but, that film collects stuff on it, and windows get dirty faster. I don't like using it. So, I use that rag, and for a big cleaning, I use vinegar and water. One part vinegar to two parts water. You can put it in a spray bottle and do it that way, but I prefer a bucket. I dip newspaper (yes, newspaper) in the water, rub it on, and then dry it with a dry piece of newspaper.

It sounds crazy, but it works. And, it has made my windows a lot easier to clean. (And, tons cheaper.)

Clay

Sorry about my hiatus. We had a run in with the swine flu that meant a hospital stay. Glad that's over.

Today, we made Baker's Clay and made halloween figures out of it. The recipe is quite simple, and easy. The great thing about this one activity is that you get two for the price of one.

You'll need:
2 cups flour
1/2 cup salt
1/2 teaspoon alum
3/4 cup water

Mix that all together, and knead it. You can add water, a tablespoon at a time, until it gets play-dough like.

Roll it out and cut it into shapes. If you are making ornaments, use a straw to make a hole in the top and thread wire into the hole before baking. You can mold it into shapes, too, but make sure they aren't more than 1 1/2 inch thick, or they won't harden properly.

Bake at 250 for 30 mins, then flip and bake for 90 mins more, or until hard.

After they have cooled, sand them to smooth them out (if you want). Then, the kids can paint them with acrylic paints or markers. Spray them with clear shellac (or paint them with clear nail polish) to set the paints.

We've done these at Christmas, and put them on the outside of gifts to decorate the wrapping, or on the outside of goody plates we are giving out. It's a fun way for the kids to be involved in gift giving.

Tuesday Tidy Tip: Teamwork cleaning

I have a magic shower. Wanna know how I clean it?

Step one: Place a rag and spray bottle of cleaner in the bathroom just before DH gets home from work.

Step two: After DH showers, admire how clean it is and put the stuff away.

Magic, right?
Both my husband and I agree that cleaning the house is a team effort. I am a Stay at home Mom, not Maid. I do think part of my job is to manage the household. But, that doesn't mean every wipe with a bleach wipe has to be done by my hand.

The other night, we had a family council on this. We discussed what it meant to be on a team. (It happened that there was a big game the next night, so a discussion of team worked nicely.) We talked about how everyone on a team has a job to do, and, if everyone does there job, it is successful.

Then, we presented a sticker chart with 150 spots on it. At the end of each day, everyone who has done their jobs for the day gets to put a sticker on the chart. The chart needs to be full before we can go bowling as a family. Each person has to do their own work, but we are filling the chart as a team.

That's my tip, is to approach the housework as a team effort. Mom may be the team captain on housework, but she isn't the only player. Don't play the martyr, and don't let your kids believe that every chore they do is some big favor to you. They do a chore because they are a contributing part of the household.

Cheesecloth Ghosts

I remember making these as a kid, and they were fun. They turn out pretty cute, something you could use in your decor that would look a little classier, not made of construction paper.

Take some aluminum foil and shape it into a form. You can use a bottle or can for the body, and use the aluminum foil to shape a head and arms.

Dip some pieces of cheesecloth into a solution of 1 part sugar and 2 parts warm water (dissolved). Or, I have read you can use liquid starch (but haven't tried it).

Drape the cheesecloth over the form and play with it a bit to make it the shape of a ghost.

Repeat so you have a total of 3 or 4 layers of cheesecloth.

Let it dry overnight. It will get hard, and you can remove the form from underneath.

You can add felt to it for eyes and accessories, if desired.

Did you know?

...that psychologists now agree that the brain structure can actually change through behavior? And, not only that, but this process happens throughout our entire lives?

Interesting, right? That means that we aren't just a product of our genetics and upbringing. That we can, through behavior, cause physical changes to our brain. We can actually alter our habits, personalities, natures, talents, etc. And, we can continue to do this throughout our entire lives.

Do you know what that means? You are wrong if you say a bad habit or weakness is just how you are. You can't blame everything on your parents. You actually have control over your brain structure; not the other way around.

As a parent, it gives me hope, because, even though I do my best, I am not perfect. It is nice to know that my kids have the power to correct the mistakes I make with them.

Why Visiting Teaching?

This is a program that you love it, or you hate it.

I love it. And, I'll tell you why. Through college, I really didn't have much to do with it. I had my list, if my companion called and set something up, I'd go if I could. I was just too busy. I avoided my visiting teachers calls, and brushed it off, because I just didn't see why I should bother with it. Once, I remember my visiting teachers coming over and talking to me at the New Year's Dance, at precisely the stroke of midnight. They counted it for both months.

Then, one year, I was working at the Disney Store at Christmas time. Can you imagine? Grown women fighting over toys, yelling, cussing, fighting. No, really. I once broke up a fight between two women who were using their strollers to attack each other, baby still in it. On this particular day, I had put in about 14 hours. My feet hurt. I was supposed to be done, but someone hadn't shown up, and I was still there. It was my birthday, and I wasn't too happy about how I was spending it. The store was jam-packed. From the back of the store, I saw a face I recognized from church. And, then, that face broke out into song. There were my visiting teachers (yes, the ones who I never answered the phone for) holding cupcakes, with lit candles, singing happy birthday to me. They couldn't actually get to me, because I was at the register, and there were long lines. So, the whole store heard it. I'll never forget the picture of that chaotic Disney store, and this college student holding a box of cupcakes way above her head, singing.

My manager came over and asked if I knew them. Ah, a moment of truth. Do I claim it? I was embarassed, but I had this suspicion that they would keep it up until they managed to get over to me. I admitted that I (kind of) knew them. He told me to go on break. I was so relieved, and happy, and I could have hugged them. I did hug them, and I don't hug people very often. I found out that they had gone to my house first, and finding that I was still at work, had come to the store. They drove 30 mins to get to my house, and 25 mins further to get to my work. They said they just felt I needed them that day. They were right. Not that I couldn't have finished out my day. Not that I was in desperate need of assistance. It wasn't that I was in that horrible of a state. But, it was one of those moments where you realize that God loves you enough to send a message to you. He wanted to just let me know that He was aware of me, and knew I was tired.

My heart softened towards the program, and I decided to give it a shot. Year after year, my committment varied, but I didn't reject the program as much.

Then, married and pregnant, and new to the ward, I had a visiting teacher who religiously (hahaha) visited me, with a lesson. She was due with her first baby 5 months before me. We both had our first Sunday in the ward on the same day. We grew close, and she stayed my visiting teacher for years. We served in callings together, had playgroups, visited each other in the hospital. When I had a sick baby, and had to stay at the hospital, she knew exactly what book to bring me to read. We discussed parenting decisions, we have both sat at each other's house and cried about stresses in our life. She has been there, more times than I can count, to strengthen me when I really needed it. I eventually moved out of the ward, after we had both had our second children, also 5 months apart. We are still close friends. All of our kids are only a few months apart. We have always been pregnant at the same time. She's just one of those friends that God gives you because He knows you need her, and she needs you.

And, I finally got it. I got a testimony of it. I get why Heavenly Father gave us visiting teaching.

Last Saturday night, we had Relief Society Broadcast. And, visiting teaching was emphasized. But, so were individuals, the people. Yes, it's a program. Yes, programs can be hard to run, and can become about numbers and not people. If the people our lost, though, the program is useless. The program is a vehicle. Think of a bus system. If they put a bus system where no one ever needed to go, what good would it do? You'd be wasting time and energy on it. But, a bus system, used properly can be efficient and a blessing in the lives of many people.

Today, I needed my visiting teacher. And, she came through for me. I got hit with a massive migraine. My husband came home, and I vaguely remember having a conversation with him where he told me he had to get back to work, and I told him I couldn't function. Later, I heard something going on downstairs, and dragged myself down there. My visiting teacher was there, folding my laundry. She had come over, fed the kids, had them playing quietly, and was folding laundry for me. She shooed me back to bed, and I didn't wake up for some time.

Thank goodness for a program that allows us to look out for one another, that gives the Lord an avenue for making life-long friendships, and that can be a blessing in our lives.

General Conference Weekend

We all love it, right? Our semi-annual chance to sit down, and really just be fed. The rest of the year, spiritual uplift is work. It is finding time in the day for scripture study; it is trying to wrestle sacrament cups from small children; it is figuring out that the only time in the day for personal prayers is while your showering (if you get that in). It takes energy to work spiritually uplifting activities into our day-to-day lives. It is important, but it takes work.

But, twice a year, we gather as Benjamin's people did, and listen to a prophet's voice. It is a wonderful weekend.

I have found that when I put a little extra umph into my effort for it, it is even better. Here is my formula for a successful conference weekend.

First of all, I go to it with a purpose. I sit down during the week before and write down five (or so) questions that I need answers to. They could personal questions, "what should I do?" things. They could be doctrinal questions. Whatever is on my mind, gets put into a question. These are my prayer for conference. They go on the first page of my notes. On the bottom half of that page, is my list spot. This is a place where I go to jot down specific things I can do to improve my life.

As I go through conference, I take notes. On the left side of the paper, I write down things the speaker says that impress upon me as important, or clever, or interesting. On the right side, I write down promptings I have. I used to put a line straight down the middle of my paper, but that doesn't work. Some talks are full of wonderful literary gems that I just have to write down, and some open the windows of inspiration, and most of what I write down is promptings. So, instead, you see random vertical lines on my paper, indicating which "side" the note should be on.

The questions I wrote down are numbered. So, the other thing you see are numbers scattered here and there, where I found an answer to one of my questions.

Stars are placed by talks that I feel I would like to further study. I try to go back through all of them over the next 6 months, but the stars help me remember which ones felt more important and directed to me.

And, lastly, you see this note, all too often: "Go back to this one". That means, I was nursing, or doing a puzzle with a child, or missed it entirely. Because, face it, sitting there for 8 hours with children, isn't going to happen. I make the goal to get back through those talks, watching them online, during the next week. Note: I make that goal. Keep it? That varies.

What happens with the kids?

• The friend activity from last month. They are to draw a picture of what the prophet asks them to do.
• Bingo Cards.
• Listen for a word. We assign a word to a talk, and have a bowl of M&Ms. Every time they hear that word, they get an M&M.
• Dollar store puzzles, workbooks, toys. We'll let the kids know that at the next song, or other point, they will get a new one.
• Google "general conference packet", and you'll find a large selection of games, worksheets, etc.
• Draw your notes. This is how I started taking notes. I would draw a picture of what the speaker was talking about, adding to it as I went along. For me, keeping my hands busy keeps my mind on what is being said.

We switch it up with different techniques, treats, and, just letting them play. Sunday morning, we make it more church like, with Sunday clothes and Sunday bags.

After conference, I sit down with my notes, and my to-do list, and create a list of specific goals to work on for the next 6 months. Next April, I will revisit this list, see how I have improved, and repeat the process. General Conference has become one of my checkpoints in my spiritual journey. Over the years, I have seen my own growth through these questions, answers, goals, and improvements.

Compare and Contrast

You wrote those papers in high school, right? I'm sure you did, we all did.

Now, it seems to me that some people did not get the memo- but high school is over! Generally speaking, the walk, the graduation, all that jazz is an indication that you have crossed over into a new part of your life called adulthood. That means, you should be an adult. That means that some of the behaviors that were common and even encouraged in high school must now stop. That includes the compare and contrast.

There are the three degrees of glory given to us by an Eternal God. The potential for the highest degree is Eternal. This refers to both the potential for joy and happiness, and the number of souls who reside there. It is not "God's Top 20". There is a standard for what it takes to live there with Him, but the standard does not include a number of admitted souls.

That means that you don't need to have one more kid than your neighbor. You don't need to go to one more church meeting than your neighbor. You don't need to do one more act of kindness than your neighbor.

This also means that you can't excuse poor behavior because of your neighbor. "Well, Sister so-and-so only does 75% of her visiting teaching, so, as long as I get in 80%, I'm good."

This also means that you don't need to do everything that your neighbor is doing. It's okay if the meal you end up bringing in to a family is pizza and a salad, even if Sister so-and-so made a 5-star restaurant style meal, starting with butchering her own chicken.

All too often, we excuse our bad behavior because of someone else's behavior. "Well, the whole Relief Society was gossiping, I couldn't stay out of it." On the other end, we feel pride in our behavior because of another sister's behavior. Or, we sell ourselves short and don't do as well at something as we could have, because we are okay with it being just better than the other person.

Forget the comparing. Don't pay attention to what they are doing. Do your best at your task, and let others do what they can at theirs.

Bananas (Simplify)

I had a bunch of bananas in my fruit bowl that were getting a little brown. Normally, I throw them into banana bread when they do that. But, with the craziness of school starting and time just slipping away, and the hot days that make it hard to turn on the oven, they kept getting more and more brown. Everyday, I thought, "tomorrow, tomorrow I'll make banana bread". My family loves banana bread, and I know they'd be thrilled to see it.

Finally, yesterday, I grabbed them, popped them out of the peel and into freezer bags. I can still make banana bread, but I don't have to do it right this minute.

There is a time and season for everything, including banana bread. On a cool day this fall, I'll pull them out and make banana bread for afternoon snack.

Where are the bananas in your life? Is there a visual reminder of something you aren't getting done that is making you feel guilty? Do yourself a favor and do something about it. Get it out of your visual, either by just doing it or filing it away for another day.

Preparing a talk

This was the thought that popped into my head and made me want to share.

Let's face it, giving talks (or lessons) are part of being LDS. From the time that you can peer over the pulipt in primary, we ask you to speak.

Preparing a talk is a daunting task. You are given two or three words as a subject, a time frame, and then, free range. How do you even begin?

1. Research. Gotta love the internet. Start with www.lds.org, the scriptures, Conference talks, etc., are all there. Research your topic.

2. Pick a few points you'd like to make. Not 10, not 20, just a few. Ask yourself, "what do I want someone to hear from this talk?". If your topic is reverence, maybe your main points are that reverence is an emotion, not an action; reverence is something we should always have, not just in the chapel; we should teach our children reverence for sacred things.

3. Find a format. This is my little secret ingredient for giving talks. Have a form for it. Watch, next conference, you'll see many of these techiniques used. Some sequences you can use:

- EASY. (Thanks to my sister for this one.) E-experience, A- apply it, S-scripture, Y- your testimony. Very simple, and very good for youth and primary talks. If you are an adult speaker, I recommend repeating the pattern a few times in your talk.

- a parable (remember Bednar's pickle talk?). Start with a personal story, use symbols in it, and explain those symbols. This is one of the harder ones to write, but one of the more memorable ones to give.

- an acronym. There are two ways to do this one. Take the word you are speaking about, and use one word that applies to each letter. For example, you have a talk on "creating a heavenly home", take 'home'- Heart (love and kindness), Open (having a gospel-sharing home), Marriage (mother and father to lead the home, must have their relationship in place first and foremost), Evening (FHE, and through in scripture study and prayers). The second way to do an acronym is to take a completely unrelated, but familiar, group of letters and do the same thing. I heard a talk 10 years ago about teaching where he did C3PO: creativity, prayer, prepare, present, openness (allowing class participation). See? I still remember it.

-build up and down. Take your main point, the one thing you want to teach in your talk. Build up to it, and than build back down from it. Hm, anyone recognize this pattern?

-one word repeat. You'll see this one in GA talks a lot, too. Take one word, and repeat it as the beginning of several phrases. Ie- Serve your family, your community, your Lord.

-common phrase. I had to give a talk on our speech once. I used "is it kind? is it true? is it necessary?"- kindness, honesty, not gossiping.

- who? what? where? when? and why? In my example of reverence, this is how I'd approach the talk. Who needs to be reverent? What is reverence? Where/when should we be reverent? Why should we have reverence?

4. Prepare each section. See the beauty of having a form? You aren't preparing a 15 min talk anymore. You are preparing several smaller ones, and then flowing them together. Isn't that much easier? Use the scriptures, quotes, and personal experiences from part 1.

5. Write an intro and conclusion. A key rule of public speaking and writing is that your conclusion always ties back to your intro. For example, in my "is it kind? is it true? is it necessary?" talk, I introduced the phrase as one that my mother would remind us of when I fought with my siblings. In the conclusion, I talked about how we are all brothers and sisters.

6. Always, always, always, end with your testimony.

And, some don'ts:

1. Don't do "ode to....." (member of the ward, family member, whomever). Our talks should be focused on the Savior.
2. Don't share a story that is unrelated to the topic. Especially don't spend 20 mins telling everyone about your vacation, and then end with "oh, and we should be nice to each other".
3. Don't ridicule people, other religions, the person who asked you to give the talk, no one.
4. Don't groan about giving the talk at the beginning of the talk. That just shuts people's ears off. "She doesn't want to speak? Well, I don't want to listen."
5. Don't forget that 99% of the people sitting out there have been in your shoes.
6. Don't forget that the Lord makes up for where we are weak.
7. Don't forget to share your testimony throughout the whole talk! That is where you can truly bring the Spirit in.

Welcome!

Sometimes, I have a thought come to me, and it's a thought I'd like to share. But, where? A blog. It's perfect. It's a place where you can come, and listen to me, or you can not come, and you don't have to be bothered with me.

I am a mom, an LDS mom. But, I'm not a molly. When I think of the creation, I don't imagine that Heavenly Father created us in an assembly line. He created us, think of that- You are a hand-made product of our Heavenly Father. He wanted you to be just how you are, but then asked you to make improvements on you. What a great plan! I get to be just how God wants me to be, and just how I want me to be.

"Molly Mormon" is a term used to refer to the stereotypical LDS women. But, if you ask any given LDS women what defines a Molly Mormon, you'll get a different answer. Some day it's a women who has a perfectly clean home, with perfectly clean children, who scrapbooks every moment of their life, and keeps a calling running just perfectly. Well, that's not me. Some say it's a good-two-shoes, LDS-style. Okay, that may be more of who I am. Really, it's that soccer-mom stereotype, with an LDS-twist on it.

I'm not Molly, though, and neither are you, even if you do have the perfectly clean home, with perfectly clean children, and perfect scrapbooks, even if you bake all of your own bread, and have a rotating food storage, even if your RS lessons always have a tablecloth. I know you aren't that stereotypical LDS women, because God didn't create that person- man did. We are the ones who have given ourselves this idea that we have to be a certain person to be the person God wants us to be. We forget that God made us to be us, not someone else.

Hence, the title of this blog- The Lord's way, my way. I am here, on this earth, trying to live the life that He wants me to live. I am not here to live the life that you are supposed to live. But, along the way, I have some thoughts to share on being an LDS women. We live in a unique day and age, yet we are connected through the ages to other women.

So, come into my world, hear what I have to say, speak up yourself (I'll gladly accept guess-postings, and comments are always welcome). Some postings will be my reflections on gospel principles; some will be tips and tricks for living; some will be whatever happens to hit my radar that day.