Trials

This post come courtesy of a good friend of mine. We were discussing last night the role of trials in our life, and this blog post is a result of that conversation.

I always imagine that we choose our trials. Now, I don't know that this is doctrinal. However, I do feel that there is enough evidence given to say that it does happen that way, maybe not every time, but some of the time, I'm sure it does. However, in the midst of these trials, I question the logic of my premortal self. Why would I be okay with this? Before my conversation with this friend, my answer has always been "because I had an eternal perspective that I don't have now." While that is true, I gained further insight last night on this.

Sometimes, we say we can do something, and that we are sure it will be just fine, and yes, we know it will be hard, but we can do it. How hard did we know it would be? Did you know how bad child labor would be? Did you know how deeply a child making a mistake would hurt? Sure, we all wanted to be moms, and we signed up for it, but, in reality, did we know how hard it really would be? What about callings- that first day being excited, and then the reality hits, and we realize that this is hard work! I remember that feeling from my mission. In my mind, I loved the idea of knocking door-to-door. Yes, I knew it would be hard. Yes, I got that there would be bad days. Did I know how hard? No.

The Savior volunteered for a job. He volunteered to suffer for our sins. Did he know how hard it would be? I don't know that He did. In the midst of the hardest part of His trial, He asked to have the cup removed. That was the insight my friend gave me, as we discussed how we sometimes so badly want to find a way out of a trial. Some trials, there just isn't an easy way out. I just want to get out, though. I want to quit that trial. I want to go back in time, and tell my premortal self not to volunteer for it. I want to wake up one day and find that it was a bad dream.

I used to think that feeling that way was because I was weak. I used to think that it was because I lacked faith, or spiritual strength. I realized last night that the Savior Himself felt that way, and since He is perfect, it is not a sin to feel that way. It is not a sin to pray and ask God to release us from the pain. The way we become like the Savior is to learn to say, as He did, "not my will, but thine, be done." The reason the Savior was perfect was because He did it anyway.

That's where the eternal perspective comes in. Eternal Perspective is what caused the Lord to not quit. Eternal Perspective is what reminds us, in the midst of a trial, that it is worth moving forward.

So, we move forward, knowing it is okay to feel that we don't want to, but choosing to anyway. As much as I had no idea how hard my mission would be, or how hard parenthood would be, I also had no idea how rewarding it would be, how much joy I would feel, or how close I could feel to heaven doing those things.

Protecting our Children

Now we have a world...

I love taking my children out and about. I love experiencing things with them. But, dragging a gaggle of children into public always places a little warning in my head- Beware, danger. As I tell my kids, there are bad guys out there. They look like anyone else, though. They don't wear masks or capes to "disguise" themselves like cartoon character do. Its unwise to pretend that they don't exist.

It's also unwise to live a life of fear because of it. So, we have developed a routine for when we go to crowded places like amusement parks. First, in the car, we review safety rules. We talk about staying with Mom and Dad. We remind the children of what our FIRST names are. They need to know that. We point out what we are wearing, and, when old enough, we review cell phone numbers.

Then, when we arrive. I take my digital camera and take two pictures of each child- one face and one full-body. How much more recent can you get? I will have my camera on me, and, if lost, I can show people exactly what my child looks like that day. Rather than "blue shirt" they see exactly what the shirt looks like.

And, don't forget, as always, to ask for the Lord's protection. The Lord encouraged us to have "wholesome recreational activities" with our families. We can have His protection as we do that.

Follow the Prophet

This last weekend, we have the privilege of listening to God's servants address us. As always, it was uplifting, insightful, and gave me the strength to push through another six months "until we meet again."

I just wanted to share my thoughts on following a prophet. When the Saints were being driven from Nauvoo, they had to cross the Mississippi river. In order to follow a prophet, they had to consciously decide to take that step into the water into a vast wilderness of the unknown. Many did, and some didn't. Some stood on the banks, looked at the water, and made the decision to follow the prophet. Some stood on the banks, looked at the water, and made the decision to stay behind. They had already followed the prophet to a point, but, for some reason, that river represented a point in which they were no longer willing to follow the prophet. The river was a line drawn that asked everyone to commit or not commit. It represented a point where decisions were made.

Noah built an ark. That's a pretty crazy thing to do. He told people that it was going to rain, and they would all die in a flood. That's pretty crazy, too. Nothing like that had ever happened, and there was no science or other indications that it would. Nothing like that has happened since. Yet, he was a prophet, and he prophesied, and he asked people to listen.

We have a prophet now, and he says things. He asks people to do hard things, things that don't make sense to the world. He isn't there to be popular, or to tell people how to have a life of luxury and relaxation. He has a purpose in his words, to bring us to Christ. From history, we see that those who crossed the river or got on the ark, were blessed. What about us? With the words the prophet speaks today, will you cross the river? Will you board the ark? What if the world says it doesn't make sense? What if the Lord is saying things that are hard to hear and hard to explain? Will you still cross the river? Will you still board the ark?

There is a line being drawn in the stand. Which side will you choose to stand on? There will come a time that there is no neutral zone, you will either stand with the Lord and His servants, or you will not. Every time I listen to conference, I am reminded of that fact. Some day, in the not so distant future, each of us will stand on the bank of the river, and each of us will have to make the decision. I will cross the river. I will stand with the servants of the Lord. Even if it doesn't always make me popular, or politically correct. Even if there are those to throw insults, and mock me for building an ark.

I firmly, truly, and humbly believe that we are led by a prophet of God. I have gained that testimony through my own personal relationship with Christ. That testimony isn't enough, though. I have to be willing to go one step further, and not just believe that He is leading us to Christ, but I need to have the courage to follow him there.