"Good enough" Parenting

Anyone ever feel pressure to be the perfect parent? I'm grateful for modern medicine and understanding of things. But, as a mother, it can get overwhelming when the media is full of facts about organic foods, harmful things in the environment, tv exposure, reading to your kids. There is study, after study, after study, trying to figure out what the exact recipe for perfect parenting is. Did you breastfeed? Did you do it long enough? Did you co-sleep, because that's bad, or did you put them in a crib, because that is bad, too? Did you expose them to Mozart while in womb (a theory now proven to be false)? Are your kids in sports young enough to excel at them? Did they start too early and now put too much pressure on themselves? Are they reading early enough? Are you spending too much time on academics, and they aren't getting to play enough? Do you have the right toys, books, equipment to properly develop their brain? Are you cooking healthy, balanced meals, that don't have chemicals or preservatives in them?

It's enough to make a mom go insane. It really is. Then, you add to the fact that little Johnny at church knows all of his scriptures and sits nicely, and Suzy's dress is always neatly pressed, and Sister Jones is never late. We get about ready to collapse under the pressure.

Once, when I had two small children, we were driving 45 mins to church, and my husband was in the Branch Presidency. I had to drag myself there, by myself, sit by myself with a special needs toddler and nursing baby. I had no mother's lounge to go to. I nursed in the hall. It was crazy, and I generally cried the whole drive back. One Sunday, our Stake Pres and his wife came to church. She is one of those women who looks all put together, raised beautiful children, and you just think has it all going for her. I was leaving church after another rough Sunday, toddler in one arm, baby in the other, and a diaper bag and books, balanced in between. My son refused to wear Sunday shoes, and I had put him in ratty sandals, which he also refused to wear. He was barefoot, and the sandals were at the top of my ill-balanced load. I dropped one, right in front of this amazing women. She bent over and picked it up and handed it to me. I apologized, both for dropping it and for the fact that my kid was wearing it to church. She smiled and said, "I once brought all of my kids to church barefoot. You brought the kids, and that is what matters." I felt a total weight come off my shoulders. Her kids managed to turn out okay, so maybe ratty sandals or barefoot isn't the end of the world.

Since then, I have adopted my "good enough" parenting. Yes, I try hard, to make sure my kids are dressed nicely, to keep a clean home, and to do all of those extra things. They are important, no doubt about that. But, when it comes to surviving day-to-day life, I just can't do it all.

At the end of the day, I ask myself:

Did I read my scriptures and have a heartfelt prayer with my Heavenly Father?
Did I read scriptures to my children and bear my testimony (not formally, but in some way) to them at least once?
Did I tell all members of my family that I love them?
Did I do something, anything, with my kids, whether it was a project, building blocks, something that allowed me to just spend some focused time with them? (Even just 5 mins).
Did I read to them?
Did we eat dinner together (even if it came from a box, or was a sandwich)?

Those are my daily goals. If I get those done, anything else is icing on the cake. At the end of the day, if my children know they are loved by me and by the Lord, I have had a successful day.